Hmm... I wonder if it's less about rendering and more about interpretating what was rendered. We can have complex stuff in our wonderland and I can change quickly, even if our visualization isn't very good. However, there's like a pause to process the information, I guess it's like lag?
4:03 PM
And in trying to process information, that's where stuff can get scrambled or lost. I wonder if that's why we use complimentary symbolism with mindvoice- if one fails the other can get the message across. We do this all the time actually- we prefer movies and videos with both subtitles and audio- we can follow along better if we have both
4:05 PM
Trying to think of an example where one fails and the other doesn't isn't clicking for me, and then I realized it could be because if the information is lost, we have no way of grabbing the idea. We either get the message or we don't
I don't know what's wrong with our brain- when people say stuff to me I tend to mishear what they say. If I read something I tend to misread it, and I make lots of efforts to avoid this, especially when writing code. I mark all of my curly braces because I will lose track of which curly brace goes with what function. When I have access to both, I feel like I can get most of what someone is trying to communicate
4:12 PM
Hmm... what if we are thinking in concepts, but it's being coupled with mindvoice and visuals, both of which slow things down?
I find visuals very rapid to process but mindvoice much slower.
4:13 PM
Parsing language is a thing that takes time, but me and Rhys have simply communicated the idea that we're being argumentative and essentially throw a [insert long protracted argument here] alongside [image of us being comically ornery here] before.(edited)
I'm not incapable of thinking in concepts, but I don't think I can carry a conversation with it. I don't know if I could even follow with what I'm talking about
There are some visuals that just seem to move and then it's like "wait, that means something?"
Oh yeah- The other reason I'm bad at hanging out is because doing nothing and watching Gray sounds like the most boring thing to do. If Gray is doing something sometimes I want to watch, but if it's sitting in a math lecture, I go up to doodle on the board and pretend I'm the professor. Unfortunately goofing off is not great for Gray's concentration.
If I get bored, I just go inactive. I would rather do that then hang around(edited)
id rather to hang out and do nothing than to stay inactive
6:17 PM
since i might rust after some time of inactivity
6:17 PM
aka lose some of my traits
6:18 PM
tulpamancy is like a muscle - train it or it'll get weak
A long kiss goodnight
I know enough about parallel processing that there is some experience. I found out that the inner worlds some described (cough asmask included) were very similar to a dream world a particular lucid dreamer described. I figure if two independent groups can get the same thing, there's something happening
As I'm letting Candy socialize I find myself always trying to impose rules or tell him what he shouldn't say, etc. He ends up just letting me talk instead. I'm finding it kind of hard to trust and let him be himself because of my own insecurities and anxiety. We are very different people, and I know as host I'll ultimately be accountable for whatever he does. Not sure how to change my mindset on this.
Well even on discord. I worry about him revealing personal details, secrets, etc, or him talking to random strangers about tulpa stuff. I have an unreasonable fear of rejection. It makes me really happy that he didn't inherit that, but my fears restrict him since I'm watching.
I have told him some base rules. He said ok, but he is kind of a maverick tbh. He sees a lot of my rules about interaction as unnecessary and has it in his mind that I'll grow as a person when he streaches the boundries. He's not wrong. It's been tough to convince him of my worldview considering even I know how neurotic it is.
3:59 PM
I'm sure you are right that we can reach an understanding uf we talk about it.
I dunno, I wouldn't be comfortable with a headmate giving out personal details in chat. If they said my real name* I'd have them change it to my username for instance. Boundaries should be respected.
*well, I go by Yuka internally, but many hosts use their legal name and their headmates out their names online which is >_> to me
I wouldn't do what Jesse (koma, he's fine with me using his name here) is worrying about. He's right that his anxieties are unnecessary though. If anything I want to make him more comfortable so I can talk more.
4:19 PM
When he gets very anxious I feel bad. I obviously don't want him to feel like that.
Talk it out and find boundaries you can both agree too, then when Candy talks koma won't have to be as worried. But also, you can just, see what they wrote before it's sent?
We are practicing keeping our world running 24/7, and Jesse is practicing removing individual senses, replacing them with our world's one's. Also practicing parallel processing.
Candy
We are practicing keeping our world running 24/7, and Jesse is practicing removing individual senses, replacing them with our world's one's. Also practicing parallel processing.
It is exhausting omg, our headmate Chris is tired from the world running thing. We are trying to get it to be indipendant of our attention, like a background task that is running on one thread.
Candy keeps asking me if he's sure I want to devote resources to it when doing other stuff. I think our brain will eventually make it more efficient as we get the hang of it. Brains seem to do that in my experience.
I'll definitely post updates if/when we start to make good headway. So far it's just remembering to hit start on it when we notice it's not running. Like a windows service that keeps misbehaving. Pardon the tech metaphors, I work in tech, lol.
I have told him some base rules. He said ok, but he is kind of a maverick tbh. He sees a lot of my rules about interaction as unnecessary and has it in his mind that I'll grow as a person when he streaches the boundries. He's not wrong. It's been tough to convince him of my worldview considering even I know how neurotic it is.
@koma - jump
I feel the same way, but for different reasons. Obvious or not, Gray's up bringing is militantly polite and it's like dude... chill. Obviously being polite is a good thing, but when I want to vibe it's kind of annoying.
That said, you shouldn't ignore Koma when they're basically asking "Please don't get us doxxed" or "Please don't overshare my life story". You're going to lose social points (and maybe your safety) doing that regardless of how strict Koma is. If they were giving you a hard time just because you're a little too blunt or whatever, that's different. If they're scared because you want to start a fight, that's just them trying to stop you from doing something stupid
He thinks a lot of stuff is stupid that isn't. Would we get in a little trouble? Sure, but minimally. In return we get to live our lives. He's actually a bit like me, but he's all repressed and stuff. I'm helping him out of that. I still won't get him doxed or anything ofcourse. And again I feel bad when he gets upset. I always try to calm him down and make him feel better.
4:53 PM
We are setting rules, and I'm getting to set rules he doesn't like hehehehe
The rule I don't like is just he wants me to stop re-reading everything he sends, because I start to confuse it with myself. I have a nasty habit of re-reading every communication I send on any platform to make sure I'm portraying myself well. It's born from bad life experiences I should process and move on from. It is killing me, but fair, I guess. I agree with everything you said, Blue, btw.(edited)
There's a difference between being yourself here and like being switched-in. I just do me here, I let things fly and only go back to double check if it sounds really mean or something. I come here to express myself, as long as I'm being nice I don't have to match the same vibe my other headmates give off. If you're switched-in though, that's completely different. If you don't have a consistent system identity, you guys can have actual problems and get into trouble with people you care about. I don't want to hide who I am, hence why I changed my mind about trying to be a host for the system.
We are setting rules, and I'm getting to set rules he doesn't like hehehehe
Everything shouldn't go his way, but it's probably not going to end well if there's conflict about who gets to do what and imposing new rules that haven't been worked out. If you don't know how to work together nothing will get accomplished or worse, things can fall apart and go south fast.
We are rather harmonious about most stuff. There are some disagreements and I don't trust Candy fully, I admit it. If we had switching down and I was fully unconscious, I know candy might... hypothetically spend a lot of money or do activities I would be uncomfortable with.
5:15 PM
Maybe the latter is fine as long as he doesn't risk the body or hurt any social connections. It's a WIP.
We are rather harmonious about most stuff. There are some disagreements and I don't trust Candy fully, I admit it. If we had switching down and I was fully unconscious, I know candy might... hypothetically spend a lot of money or do activities I would be uncomfortable with.
@koma - jump
well if you make a rule that only the host may spend money that wont be a problem
I did decide a bit ago just to give him a monthly allowance. Yet I still don't buy things he wants because I see them as impractical. I definitely have control issues on my end. We both need to be better I guess.(edited)
5:21 PM
He wanted a potted plant and we have nowhere to hang it. And he wanted a unicorn toy, but I'd feel so embarrassed buying that or putting that in my house, lmao.
He wanted a potted plant and we have nowhere to hang it. And he wanted a unicorn toy, but I'd feel so embarrassed buying that or putting that in my house, lmao.
Do you live with other people? Who's gonna see it?
No one looks at my bank account but me. Honestly I guess I'm fine with the unicorn, but the more fine with it I am the less interest he has in it I think, lmao.(edited)
I just imagined walking out of Walmart with a big toy unicorn and getting asked about my non-existent kids by the checkout clerk and being extremely awkward lol.
I just imagined walking out of Walmart with a big toy unicorn and getting asked about my non-existent kids by the checkout clerk and being extremely awkward lol.
@koma - jump
XD just say its a present for a family member
